Who pays for the date?

Last night I had a conversation with my friend about what I think about a man who doesn’t pay on a date and here’s how it went down:


I feel like if a man has invited me out and is does not want to pay then, he sees no value in me (yes I call everyone male or female princess, even my mother… just not my father). However, if he does want to pay I too would want to pay for his meal, we can split, or take turns and hopefully if the relationship progresses that will be how it will continue because we will be partners in everything.

IMG_2284I never thought there was an issue with this mentality until I saw this post circulating on Instagram about why professional athletes do not want to marry black women. Now let’s be honest, the man who posted this may have other issues with dating or marrying black women, but this was the excuse he gave:


Source: instagram.com/sancophaleague


I asked my friend what his view on this and the question he had asked me was and he went on to explain that he had a friend who was a female and was “outraged by the notion of a man not paying a bill” but this was not entitlement, and she was not expecting the man to pay for it and makes an empty offer to pay.

Here’s his take on it:IMG_2287

He has no issue paying but does dislike the notion that he is “supposed to act in such or so a way” and if a woman actually expected him to pay, then he no longer wants to see her.

There are some factors that need to be considered when it comes to gender roles and the performance of males and females. In the past domestic ideology meant that men were out earning wages in the “public sphere” while a majority of women were expected to stay at home in the domestic sphere,” however when it comes to issues of race many black women were in the public sphere working and also in charge of home life. Wages earned were not just from black men in these homes but often black women

What are your thoughts on this?


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